The move has hit certain divisions hard, including Comixology and Prime Air. But when it comes to promotion, Bezos is a genius.Earlier this month, Amazon confirmed plans to lay off around 18,000 workers. Bezos got more free public relations attention for his company than any CEO could dream of. And even if Amazon never gets its drones off the ground, the idea’s already succeeded. They love the idea! It’s the future! It’s cool! It’s good fodder for even 60 Minutes to cover on Thanksgiving weekend (watch below). ![]() He’s already given enough caveats to easily protect himself against failure. This whole drone idea is stupid and it will never happen. This will be war, and it will not be pretty. More importantly, do you think any sane woman working in an office will agree to a drone replacing that ripped UPS guy in that sexy brown uniform who winks at her every morning? Bezos, you don’t even know the can of worms you’re opening. Think those UPS guys are going to accept being replaced by drones? They’re pretty huge and I wouldn’t want to make them angry. Seems like a bad idea to me, but hey… I’m not the CEO of Amazon, so what the hell do I know? 7. I’m more interested in seeing how a package is going to find its way to my great aunt Rebecca on the 14th floor of her apartment building in Queens without breaking a window or giving her neighbors a heart attack. For starters, their promotional film shows the package being delivered to a remote house on a beautiful sunny day. The company is targeting densely populated urban areas. ![]() These people are already hacking into our government’s computers… you don’t think they can pluck a few hundred drones out of the sky, re-program them and then send them off to deliver poisons, toxins and those Wonka Pixy Stix powdered candies which are delicious but do terrible things to your teeth? The writers on Homeland are already licking their chops. Our enemies will love thisīesides Bezos, you know who else can’t wait for those drones to start flying? Al Qaeda. And we expect Amazon’s drones to still function? 5. Are these drones indestructible? Will a 20-mile-per-hour wind send them flying into trees or houses or render them otherwise useless? Most people in my town can’t even drive when there’s a slight drizzle. Besides rain, the forecast will also be falling drones Let the games begin! How many drones can you knock down in mid-flight? How soon before “anti-drone” toys appear in the Sharper Image catalog for family fun? “Yo dude, extra points for knocking down the Victoria’s Secret drone!” 4. Imagine you’re 17, hanging with your friends, bored, and have access to a pile of rocks, a copy of Kanye’s Yeezus and a case of beer. Who’s going to support these things? The same guys who support ? No thanks. It happens to those billion-dollar military drones, so you know it’s going to happen to Amazon’s $9.99 versions. What happens if there’s a tech problem? A software error? A broken wing or something? And then the drone falls from the sky. So let’s say there are hundreds of thousands of drones zipping around all over the place delivering Despicable Me 2 dolls and packages of Spanx. Is this what you want America? Have we not all been struck by the poop of a passing bird at some point in our lives? Now we must have drones falling on our heads too? 2. Imagine swarms of drones carrying everything from iPhones to Uggs buzzing overhead, banging into each other, blocking out the sun, knocking into birds and raining down copies of Fifty Shades of Grey on your daughter’s elementary school. And if they get approval from the FAA to do go forward with this absurd plan, then other companies will soon follow. There could be hundreds of thousands of drone shipments a day. It will create a dangerous messĪs if our skies aren’t crowded enough. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, I can think of a few things. But the best part about this story is how serious the media is treating it. The company’s CEO, Jeff Bezos, is being praised as a God, a Renaissance Man, a cultural icon, a genius. ![]() And yet, everyone seems to love the idea. Because only an insane person would believe this.
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